Red One

The Christmas actioner is irresistibly forgettable

“Feels like it was written by AI” will become an increasingly derogatory phrase within the art world, detailing a project beset by lack of originality or daring. How AI would produce an action Christmas comedy, would look close to Red One (2024).

Red One finds Santa Claus (J.K. Simmons) kidnapped by unknown forces two days before Christmas. Cynical conman Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans) reluctantly teams up with Santa’s bodyguard Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson) to track him down and save Christmas.

Red One is directed by Jake Kasdan, who struck gold with the bland Jumanji sequels Welcome to the Jungle () and The Next Level (). In Red One Kasdan delivers the type of safe, CGI-riddled blockbuster that has “studio factory” written all over it; world-building mentions many mythical creatures (spin-off material!), characters use toys as tools on missions (product placement!), and our heroes hop around exotic locations (market representation! Tax breaks!).

There was a certain humor in Red One’s initial concept, which treats Santa like a head of state, and whose rescue plot echoes political spy thrillers. However, the lackluster plot, flat characters, and unimaginative action sequences lead to an unmemorable film. Story beats hit their marks in predictable fashion and the obligatory Christmas message of “it’s about family and love” is delivered lazily, and betrayed by the focus on toys and gadgets.

One of the biggest problems with Red One is its characters, which are written to work against the strengths of its charming actors. Jack is written as unlikeable, an absent and disinterested father, so that you struggle to root for anything he does, even with the irresistible Evans embodying him. Callum is so monotone as a character, it leaves Johnson appearing bored in his every scene (albeit there were reports that Johnson was unhappy on set). Finally, the great Simmons spends the majority of the film literally knocked out.

 Red One is such a generic blockbuster, it feels impossible that it was crafted by humans. Holiday theme + big movie stars + action + product placement = movie, seems to have been the formula. The result is a film that, while not insulting or unwatchable, is something many filmmakers find a worse fate: forgettable.

3.7/10